Dear Diary
by kaydi
Summary: ever wonder what Sirius's mother was like? Well here is Fiona Black's diary


If you know it it's not mine. Hope ya like. 

Dear Diary,

June 17, 1965, last day of term

Dear Diary,

What is that they always say? Ah, yes. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Somehow I know it's true. I have always known this day would come. I have always known I would come here and It would change my life. And I always knew it would end.

Harry is telling me to quit crying, but I can't. I will miss this place. I think I will miss seeing my father everyday most of all. He is very busy, what with being headmaster and all.

He was quite old when I was born. I know he loves me. He never speaks about my mother, although I figure I must look like her. Since dad had auburn hair and twinkling blue eyes, and I have black hair and deep brown eyes. I often catch him looking at me in an almost sorrowful way

Oh dear, I must go. Harry and Snape have gotten into another fight and Mere alone isn't enough to stop them.

Yours truly,

Fiona Dumbledore.

July 21, 1965

Dear Diary,

You'll never guess what! I met someone! He is nice and sweet and handsome, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I was down by the pond, when this woman began to scream. I looked up to see a baby carriage flying down the embankment. Her baby was inside. I reached for my wand but just before it flew over the edge a man grabbed it. The woman ran up to him, gasping her thanks and holding her baby close. I smiled. A crowd began to gather. And they looked around for the man to thank him. But he was gone.

I caught up with him a few blocks away. I ran up to him and stopped him.

"Wow, that was amazing. How did you do that?"

"I was a goalie in school for football." He told me. "It's nothing." I couldn't be sure, but I think he was blushing.

"Well I think it was great and very brave of you. I'm Fiona. Fiona Dumbledore."

"Interesting name. I'm Orion, Orion Black."

"It's nice to meet you." We shook and when I looked into his eyes, something strange happened.

I've never been a big believer in true love, except in Harry and Mere's case. But then they fight over every little thing and are still crazy about each other. I pity their children. But not for me. Dad was in love and she broke his heart. But I figure now that's part of the price.

But when I looked into his eyes, they are light green, the world seemed to flip upside down. My knees felt weak and I feared I would faint right then and there. Divination has never been my strong point but I knew there was something about him, something different. Even for a muggle.

Every emotion inside me exploded. I could do nothing but smile and continue to stare into his eyes.

"So, are you busy tonight?" He asked. I was jerked back to the present. 

"No, no I don't think so."

"So, would, kind of, maybe, like to, go to dinner with me?" he mumbled the last part. Gosh he was so cute. I smiled

"I would love to." 

"Really?" His whole face lit up. I smiled

"Really." Then I gave him my address and a small kiss on the cheek. Then I walked away. I turned around and he was still standing there his hand on his cheek grinning.

I smiled and kept walking.

Oh, that's the doorbell now!

I must go.

Yours truly,

Fiona Dumbledore.

July 21, 1965, later.

Dear diary,

Tonight was great, wonderful, and romantic, there aren't enough words to describe this night. 

Orion was the perfect gentleman. He was so well, just perfect.

I'm sorry if I'm rambling. I've never felt this way about anyone, much less a muggle. There is something about him. Something that shakes me to the very core of my soul. I don't know what. But it is as if we were meant to be. As if something is drawing us to each other for some special purpose and we are powerless to fight it.

I do not understand this power but I know it means something. Maybe Father would know.

Yours truly,

Fiona Dumbledore

September 15, 1965, Hogwarts

Dear Diary,

It has been quite a while since I have written. A month in fact. Let try and summarize what has happened to me.

Father gave me a job! I am a teacher at Hogwarts. I teach Transfiguration. I love it. The first years are wide eyed and eager to learn. I love them all.

My relationship with Orion has not gone as well as I had hoped. He insists that I am hiding something from him, which I am but still. I visit him every weekend. I got back to London and stay with him until Sunday night. 

We had a fight last time. He said I didn't care about him enough to tell him what it was that kept me from him.

I told him it was none of his business, and then he accused me of having another man! I couldn't believe it! That he would accuse me! Of cheating on him! Oh it makes me mad just thinking about it. I slapped him and then I left.

But I miss him. I miss him like I miss breathing. My heart is not beating the same. I cannot lose him. But I think I did. Something tells me I must not lose him. My head and my heart both agree.

I must tell him I am sorry. I must tell him the truth.

Yours truly,

Fiona Dumbledore

February 10, 1966

Dear Diary

Another five months have passed since I have written. When Father gave me this diary I believe he meant me to write more than I do. But life is so crazy I wonder how I have any time at all.

I guess I should say how things went with Orion. 

They went great!

I told him everything. About me being a witch and where I teach and everything. And guess what? He moved to Hogsmead! Just to be closer to me. Even though he is very out of place in an all wizarding town he loves it. And from what I've heard the people love him too. He helps Madam Rosemarta at the tavern While he takes doctor courses at Edinburgh. He wants to be a doctor and treat little kids. He loves kids. He's happiest when surrounded by a herd of screaming children. I think its great.

He has this adorable nickname for me. He calls me Fi. Sort for Fiona. I call him Ri. Short for Orion.

I am so glad he is near. When I told him, he simply stood there for a few minutes and then he picked me up and swung me around, then he asked me to do something I have never expected him to say. 

He asked me to marry him. 

Of course I said yes! Of course, of course. The wedding is in two months. I cannot wait.

Yours truly,

Fiona Dumbledore

March 13, 1966. A muggle town.

Dear Diary

Tonight I meet his parents. A thing I am not looking forward to. He has a very low opinion of his parents, but he says we must meet them.

"Tradition requires it." He mimicked them. 

He says his father is an uptight, strict narrow minded scrooge, while his mother is an airhead.

I can hardly wait.

Yours truly,

Fiona Dumbledore

March 14, 1966. Hogwarts.

OHHH. Those people! How can two people like that have a son like him?

Let me start at the beginning.

We went to a very expensive place. Then they were "fashionably " late.

His mother was in a tight blue dress. A look that was very fashionable in the 1940's but not now. His father gave me a through look over. Like he was trying to find some fault with me.

They sat down and we ordered. I didn't know anything on the list so Orion ordered for me.

Then they started talking.

" So Fiona, what do you do?" "What is your family heritage?" " Do you have any royal blood?"

Yes, I wanted to say. We are descended form Godric Gryffindor himself. I wonder what they would say.

They asked me all sorts of questions, on whether I thought I was good enough for Orion.

He began to get very mad and finally he pulled me up and we left.

Later he apologized for his parents. They don't like anyone below them. And they want him to marry some duchess somewhere. But he will have none of it. He says he only wants me and that is enough. Could it be true Diary? Have I found someone who is truly different? 

****

Don't worry. I'll love you no matter what. Even if the walls crash down and we are all crushed to death, I'll still love you. Even if one of your students turns you into a desk or a skunk or something.

Orion! Oh, he was looking over my shoulder as I write this and he stole my quill. 

****

Ow!

Serves you right. 

But I must go before he kills me.

****

By the way, who is Godic Gryffindor?

Oh go away. I'll tell you later.

Yours truly,

Fiona Dumbledore.

****

And Orion Black

Orion!

April 16, 1966. Hogwarts.

Well diary, this is it. Today is my wedding day.

Today I become Mrs. Orion Black. There are so many feelings running through my head. What if we're wrong? What if he doesn't love me? What if something happens to him? What if he doesn't show up at all? What if I don't? What if, what if. There are so many.

I'm scared and happy and sad all at the same time. I didn't know I could feel so many things at once.

I can't do this . I can't.

**__**

You can.

Dad!

**__**

Fiona, this is your day. This is the day you marry because you are in love. I will bet you anything Orion is over there thinking the exact same things you are. I have never seen two people as in love as you. Therefore I command you to marry him.

Thank you for the encouraging pep talk dad.

**__**

You're welcome. Now hurry up and finish. They are waiting. He is waiting

Dad is right. As much as I am scared to be with him I am scared to be without him more.

This is the last time I will sign it Fiona Dumbledore. Tomorrow I will be Fiona Black.

Yours truly,

Fiona Dumbledore

April 18, 1966.

Something has happened. I'm still not sure what but maybe if I write them all down. It will help me sort them out.

On our wedding night, after we had fallen asleep, I was awakened by a sharp pain in my stomach. It was quick and burning But when I opened my eyes again, I was somewhere different.

A woman stood next to me. She was wearing a simple dress. It looked like something out of my history book.

She had long black hair and green eyes. Bright green eyes.

"Hello, Fiona."

"How do you know my name?" I asked her. Fear was mounting in me.

"I know your name because of what you are. We all know it. And much more. Let me tell you a story." She took my hand and led me to a small pool.

"I was born a muggle. One day a passing man in our village stopped. We fell in love and were soon married. It was on our wedding night that he told me his secret. 

He was a wizard. He was joined with the other three most powerful wizards of the time. They were building a school and I was invited to come and live with him there." I saw a group of people in the pool. They were standing around a tall single tower. That must be what Hogwarts looked like when it was first built. 

"Of course I excepted. I loved him and had owed to go where he went.

I loved his world of magic. I was soon excepted by the other wizards except for one.

Salazar Slytherin. He hated me because of what I was. A muggle. When I announced I was pregnant with Godric's children, he couldn't believe it.

I gave birth to twins. Two boys. We named them Brian, meaning noble and strong, and Shea meaning courageous and free. I called them my Ciarans. My little dark ones. The only strange thing about them is they were both born with scars. On their right palms. A jagged scar, we were not sure why. But they both had it." I saw two boys, one with black hair and blue eyes, and one with black hair and brown eyes. I stared into those eyes. I knew them. They were mine.

"Our world was a perfect one, until three weeks after he was born, Shea disappeared. 

He was stolen. I don't know by whom.

It would be eleven years before we saw him again." Now I saw two boys, at the age of eleven, standing at an old chair next to a hat. I recognized it as the sorting hat. But brand new.

" Brian showed magic at a very early age. He was strong, very strong. We found out later from Shea's foster parents that he too was strong. In fact he was raised by muggles who had no idea what their foundling was doing was magic.

He was sent to Hogwarts at the age of eleven and Brian and Shea clicked instantly. They did not know they were brothers until they found a scar on Shea palm. They came to Godric and we were reunited.

They graduated top of their class. Two of the most powerful wizards to every live.

They married of course and had children. They developed a reputation for battling dark wizards. The son's of Godric Gryffindor were as famous as their father.

Then one day, the impossible happened.

Two men appeared in the field where they were ploughing their crops. They shared everything. Even their fields,

The mysterious men claimed to be the heirs of Slytherin and was here to avenge his masters banishment form Hogwarts.

As their families watched the twins battled the men. They took one down but in the process, Shea took a curse meant for his brother." I saw the boy with my eyes, now a man, take a hit for his brother.

"Brian drove the remaining man away and hurried to his brothers side.

But Shea wound was mortal. With his dying breath he swore to his brother that the fight was not over. That they would never give up. 

Then he died. Brian died seconds after him. 

You see, they were so connected, they shared not only a friendship and brotherhood, and they shared a life. They were connected with the same soul. "

"But what has that got to do with me?" I asked.

"When my husband died he told me of a prophecy in which the heirs of Gryffindor will return to rid the world of the darkness, once and for all.

The babe you now carry, is one of them."

"What?"

"You will have twins. One will be a girl and one will be a boy. That boy is one of the heirs of Gryffindor. He is Shea. My baby."

I felt my stomach. Did I really have two small lives growing inside of me.

"Take care. Your baby will be a great man but at a price."

"What price? Why? What is going to happen?"  
"That is all I can tell you now. When your children are born I will come again." Then she vanished.

What am I going to do? I am pregnant. My baby is in danger. He isn't even born yet. Who on earth would want to kill and unborn baby?

Oh what am I going to tell Orion? And dad. What am I going to do?

Yours truly,

Fiona Black.

June 16, 1966.

I told them. Not everything. Just that I was pregnant. 

The woman could have said it wasn't very pleasant. I have been sick and moody. I hate it. 

Orion was overjoyed of course. Like I said before he loves kids.

Dad was happy too. But I feel a little guilty for not telling them.

Yours truly,

Fiona Black.

December 30, 1966

Dear Diary,

My children are due any day now.

But here is something strange. My doctor examined me a few weeks ago and he said I will have a healthy daughter.

What about the woman? She said I will have twins. She said one would be a boy.

I am so confused. Maybe it was just a dream.

My stomach hurts.

Yours in pain.

Fiona Black.

January 1, 1967.

Last night I gave birth to twins! My babies. I have a daughter and a son.

Orion insists on naming them after stars.

"It's a tradition." He says.

So he is going over star charts to find a name for the boy. We decided to name our daughter Adhara. Adhara Cygnus Black.

But here is something weird.

When I was giving birth my first baby came out. The doctors mouth fell open.

"It's a boy!" He said.

Then our daughter came out. Three minutes later. It was like our son just appeared.

But when they put them in my arms, I knew I would do anything to protect my babies. I felt a love for them, that I have never felt before. They were half me and half Orion.

They wanted to put my son in observation but I told them no. He would be fine right here.

So I am writing and holding him at the same time. Dad is holding Adhara.

Orion has just burst into the room, waving a star chart in my face.

****

Stop writing! I found a name!

Orion! Fine what is it?

****

Sirius. Sirius Polaris Black.

I love it. I stare down at my baby boy. He opens his eyes and grins up at me. He has my eyes.

My baby, my Sirius.

Yours truly,

Fiona Black.

January 2, 1967

She was back. She came while I was watching my babies sleep.

"They are beautiful."

"Yes, they are."

"He wasn't expected."

"What?" I turned to her.

"he wasn't expected. Not for another twenty years. That's why he didn't show up before."

She reached down and brushed his hair.

"He is just like y Shea. What is his name?"

"Sirius."

"Sirius, the dog star. The brightest star in the sky. Good name. It is very fitting."

"Why?"

"Come." She took my hand and led me to a pool. In it I could see many faces, swirling and churning together as in one big picture.

"This s the pool of truth. In it you may glance at your loved ones fate. You will see what he will become and why he must bear what he will go through later on."

She waved her hand over the water. And I saw a face. A face of a boy, but he had my eyes, my hair, my face. He was frowning over a school book.

"He is a smart boy, but he lacks friends. He is not aware of his power and his father has yet to tell him."

Then the picture shifted. In it he was waiting in line with many other kids. I recognized it as the great hall. He was waiting to be sorted. He spoke softly to several boys.

"He will have many friends in this place. He will find in true power and become one of the top of the class along with his two friends there."

Then it shifted again. Now he was laughing with the same two boys. He looked older but not by much. A few months maybe.

" He will be a great prankster. Such as Hogwarts has never seen." I smiled.

Then it showed him in a dorm room with the two boys from before. The one with brown hair was sitting on the bed crying while the other two comforted him.

"He will be a friend. The loyalist friend you could have. He will find the limits of his power because of a friend."

Then it was many years later. Four boys, all of whom I recognized as my son and his friends. They sat around a small cauldron. Slowly three of the boys, my son included, pulled out goblets and dipped them in the potion. Then they drank it.

"He is becoming an animagus. Illegally. For friendship." I watched as the boys transformed. One into a rat, one to a stag and Sirius to a dog.

Then it moved again. I saw his graduation. I saw him become and auror

"he will marry. And have a daughter." I saw him with a blond beauty. They looked so very happy.

"But all that will end." I saw him talking to one of his friends. Then he left.

I saw them, his friend and his wife, be murdered. I saw him take the blame. I saw them send him to Azkaban without a trial. I saw him live for many years and I saw him break out. I saw the years that followed and the pain he had. I saw his future. I saw his pain. I loved him so much more.

"Why are you showing me all this?"

"Because you need to know. You will not be there for him."

"What do you mean? He is my son. I will always be there for him."

"You may be with him in spirit but not in body. You will not be there to dry his tears or hold him when he needs to be held."

"Why not?"

"Because you will die for him." I stared at her stunned.

"Your death will save the world. And your son." With that she vanished.

I held my son closer. I would die for my baby. It was foretold. I would die. 

I am going to die. I don't know when, I don't know how. But I am.

The question is will I have the courage to tell Orion?

Yours truly, maybe for the last time.

Fiona Black.

January 3, 1967

I am still alive.

We took the babies home today. They are happy and sleeping. I cannot believe I will never see them grow up.

I will miss them and Orion when I'm gone. He will take care of them and he will be good. I know it.

A feeling just came over me. It will be tonight. I can feel it. Tonight I will die and my babies will live.

Oh my children, if only I could change it. Maybe someday you will see what your mother died for.

I love you so much. I can and will die for you. Addi be good and keep your grades up. Siri stay out of trouble and never give up.

Orion remember that I love you.

I will always be with you.

Yours truly,

Fiona Dumbledore Black, wife and mother

****

Fiona was killed last night. She died protecting our son form a dark wizard.

I don't know why she died, but I read what she wrote.

Don't worry fi. I remember. I'll make sure the kids remember too. I'll never forget how much I loved you. Never. I promise.

Yours forever,

Orion Sirius black.


End file.
